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Sex, Drugs and Saving Throws

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Chapter 1: Endless Harvest

A heavy metal band, the Mithril Maidens, are down on their luck and looking for their next big score. They are approached by a secretive half-elf and a gnomish scholar with an offer to make a lot of gold quick. All they have to do is take a book on gardening and animal husbandry to an abbey about a days travel outside of the capital. It should be a cake walk, but things have a way of taking a dark turn between the pages of Sex, Drugs, and Saving Throws. 

In our first episode, we met the members of the fantasy heavy metal band Mithril Maidens: Echoes an Eladrin Monk and bagpiper, Raine, a Fae Fighter-Thief and bass lutist, Huilgrim, a halfing barbarian and lead lutist, Zuulja, a half-orc bard and drummer of the band, and Gromarsh, another half-orc bard and lead singer of the band. Our “heros” were hired by Fizbin, a gnomish scholar, to deliver a book about gardening and animal husbandry to an abbey about a day’s travel from the capital.

It was easy money, almost too easy. The group set out but soon the weather took a turn for the worse, and the group found themselves helping a group of refugees to get one of their carts unstuck from the muddy road. As they were finishing up, the ground shook and the massive form of a Bulette burst from the ground.

It is time to find out if the members of the Mithril Maidens are more than just great hair and perfectly tuned instruments or are they also actually bad ass adventurers not afraid to ride the Bulette.

In this episode, the members of the Mithril Maidens have reached the Abbey and found themselves in a refugee camp, just outside the Abbey's walls. There is a great to-do about soup and the band meets Randall, a scribe at the abbey with an obsession with apples. The group gets a tour of the abbey grounds and meets the captain of the guard. Pants will be dropped and blades will be drawn before the group comes face to face with the Master of the Abbey, an elf, of unusual size.

In this episode the members of Mithril Maidens have completed their quest by delivering the druidic book to the Abbey’s head scholar, Master Sylmar, an elf of unusual size and mannerisms. The band has been invited to a feast and even offered a chance for a paid gig to perform. All they need to do now is relax and get ready for their show. Except, the Mithril Maidens are not just a collection big hair, guy liner, and tight leather pants, they are also a band of adventurers always looking for a side quest and that is just what they get when the old woman Jezellin tells Echo that her husband Trudor and son Bingon have not returned from hunting in the forest. Echo quickly negotiated a deal to look for her lost family in exchange for drugs and perhaps some company. The group Rushes into the nearby woods where they will find that there is definitely something very wrong going on and There is Unrest in the Forest.

The members of the Mithril Maidens continue their deadly fight against the corrupted Dryad and her twisted trees in the dark swamps. They may have found the missing humans, but they will also uncover clues that all might not be right within the walls of the Abbey. Will they uncover the cause of this foul corruption or will they become the next meal in the Eternal Harvest?

The band has been betrayed by Randal, the apple eating scribe, and plunged into the catacombs below the abbey. Now, after getting some much needed rest, and for one of the band, a full belly of questionable food, the group sets off into the catacombs to find the source of the corruption. They will face new dangers and finally learn the answer to the question - is it worse to be attacked by zombies, or saved by a half-orc bard that is high as a kite. Someone is going to get Thunderstruck.

The Mithril Maidens, having defeated the host of undead, delve deeper into the cellars beneath the abbey where they find their way out blocked by a sunken chamber with an iron gate barring their way. The rusty mechanism that appears to control the gate rests some 20 feet below the surface of the cold, dark water. How will they overcome this challenge, and what new horror will they find in the Drowning Pool?

The Mithril Maidens have finally had something to eat that isn't cursed or leg of Sam. They rest up and press on past the flooded chamber and hall and into another part of the catacombs that is filled with even more danger and right when the group thinks they have dried off, they find themselves in a very wet encounter.

Like a music box in a funeral home, the Mithril Maidens have no sooner dispatched the cursed water elemental when they hear mournful singing coming from the dark corridors ahead of them. Drawn to it like a moth to flame, or a band trying to figure out who their openers are going to be, they delve even further into the horror filled catacombs. It's been a wild ride up to this point, but these metal adventurers are about to turn it up to 11 and Ride the Lightning!

The Mithril Members take a short rest after fighting their way through the cursed catacombs of the abbey, but finally they may have found a way out. The smells of freshly cooked bread and the sound of jovial voices coming from above them means that they may have just found their way back to the abbey and just in time to be the main attraction in Master Slymar's feast. Will the "heroes" win the day or will they become part of the Endless Harvest?

The Mithril Maidens find themselves in a battle for their lives as they battle their way through the "feast" against crazed scribes, guards, and blood thirsty henchmen. This is it, the final showdown between our heroes and the master of the abbey. Will they triumph or will they become the final course in the endless harvest?

Chapter 2: Baking the Law

Set six months after the events of the first chapter of this story "Endless Harvest", Baking the Law finds the Mithril Maidens back together again, down on their luck and trying to get back into the music scene. The main difference is that now they have a manager, Orin Killroy, who won the honor of being the band' front man by losing in a game of cards.

Once again, the enigmatic half-elven warlock Fel, working on behalf of Fizbin the scribe, calls upon the Mithril Maidens to help them on a very important mission in the war against the encroaching chaos, to steal a holy artifact of law from the capital of the lawful good kingdom to the north. How will our band of intrepid adventurers accomplish this, by winning in one of the most highly watched and highly dangerous shows on all of the Scry Network - an extreme baking competition where the ingredients are just as likely to try to eat the adventures.

So tease up your hair, tug up those tight leather pants and get ready for Baking the Law!

Orin and the Mithril Maidens have travelled to the Lawful Good kingdom of Obscondia to partake in the Baking the Law extreme baking contest. They have met the competition - The Hex Pistols, a group of wanna-be bad ass lady warlocks and The Feebler Elves, three extremely old and unpleasant high elves and have started their first challenge - baking muffins made from parts of a Manticore. 

The Mithril Maidens have reached the valley of the manticores and attempt to sneak their way in so they can get the drop on the beasts before they know they are there...or...maybe things are going to go in a much different direction.

So tease up your hair, tug up those tight leather pants and get ready for Baking the Law!

The Mithril Maidens have returned to the fair grounds with their prize, but now they have to figure out how to turn a manticore into a tasty breakfast muffin. They have faced hunger demons, hags, and even seriously pissed of dryads, but this arena, of competitive cooking will challenge them like never before.

The Mithril Maidens took second place in the first competition and so have the evening off to do what they will. In this case, a little time off leads to Echoes of Banter hatching a plan with Nobby, the goblin that lives inside the base of one of the Feebler Elves wheelchair. This episode also contains violent dysentery and the most terrible thing the group has encountered - a sober Gromarsh. And finally, they will learn what their next challenge awaits them. 

So put on so much guyliner that you want to fuck yourself and tune your scrying set to the next episode of Baking the Law!

The second challenge in the Baking the Law competition has begun and the contestants must gather pudding, in three glass jars, from the halls of the Pudding King. There will be riddles, traps, really weird but totally legit monsters, and even a brush with death (you know who), and a GM that cannot, no matter how hard say Genatlous, I mean Genitalious, or screw it, G-Cube.

So put tease your hair until it is about halfling size and tune your scrying set to the next episode of Baking the Law!

The Mithril Maidens return to the parade ground triumphant but soon come face to face with the brutal side of Obscondia's "Gooder Laws". One band member will speak truth to power, save a soul, and earn a powerful ally, and enemy. But the dark world of Sex, Drugs, and Saving Throws in unkind to heroes and does not often reward their deeds. Oh, yeah, and like the first 20 minutes of the episode is just the whole group trying to desperately get Gromarsh high again.

So squeeze yourself into the tightest leather armor in the realm and tune your scrying set to the next episode of Baking the Law!

The Mithril Maidens set out on their final, and possibly their most deadly, mission in the Baking the Law contest - the Vrock N Roll. The band will have to face the very powers of the abyss if they hope to take first prize and their spot on the royal yacht. Alliances will be formed and rules will be broken in this bitter contest and one small act of kindness and mischief will alter the course of the games forever. 

So bang your head until you cannot see straight and tune your scrying set to the next episode of Baking the Law!

The culmination of the battle with the demons and the baking competition.

The Mithril Maidens have won the Baking the Law competition and now are about to set sail on the Pre-Law cruise as special guests of Judas the High Priest and everything seems to be going according to plan; however, what does Princes Fyord want Hulgrim to help her with and how will the group get their hands on the mighty lawful neutral artifact - The Uptight? And last but not least, will a simple request made by Echo of his new roadie - Nobby, have dire consequences for the band? There are only two more episodes left in this chapter of Sex, Drugs, and Saving Throws.

So bang your head until you cannot see straight and tune your scrying set to the next episode of Baking the Law!

And so comes to an end the second chapter of the Sex, Drugs, and Saving Throws story. The Mithril Maidens find themselves on the High Priest Judas's private yacht as part of their reward for winning the baking competition. What starts out like a fine time, a concert and an orgy, takes a turn for the worse when one of the bandmates is caught red handed in the high priest's cabin with the princess trying to steam the holy relic of law, The Uptight. This episode has it all, Sex, Drugs, and Saving Throws all leading to an explosive finale.

So lube up that Rod of Might and tune your scrying set to the final episode of Baking the Law!

Chapter 3: Diary of a Mindflayer (TBD)

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